Brillo's Dreams

Modern Slavery Books

2010-04-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

Study Aborad Egypt Fund for my Sister.

2010-03-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

Rachel Burger Egypt Study Abroad Fund

2009-02-26T09:09:00.000-08:00

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The Fugitive, Russian Mafia & Lego Guns

2008-09-18T22:04:00.009-07:00

In this dream I'm David Kimball from The Fugitive. Totally random, since I haven't seen the movie in years.

Anyway,not only do I have the U.S. Marshall's after me, but the Russian Mafia as well. I went back to my office to look for clues about my wife's murder and I got a drink from the water cooler. You know how most water coolers have red and blue faucets, well I pushed both of them in a weird combination and accidentally opened up a secret safe in the wall. I came to find out that this held all of the Russian Mafia's gold and money.

Immediately the the mafia was after me and this big, I mean huge muscle-bound, guy was on my tail. He had a big red goatee and wore jeans with suspenders and no shirt. Apparently he was a redneck as well.

So I hop on a bullet train and get away from him. While hiding out for a couple of days I make friends with a girl and her boyfriend. Except the girl is Princess Leia and her boyfriend is Han Solo, none other than Harrison Ford. Interesting, since Harrison Ford plays David Kimball in The Fugitive.

The days blur into weeks and we're running from the Marshalls and the Russian Mafia. Then all of the sudden we're in this old house when the shirtless Russian guy breaks through the door with a couple other thugs. Han and the Princess take on the other two while I start fighting the big red haired shirtless man with butter knives.

We're going nuts with the butter knives in each hand like something out of a Jet Li movie. I keep having opportunities to stab him or cut his throat, but I can't bring myself to do it.

Then more mafia guys come charging in and we're really outnumbered. Before they can pull out guns, Han throws me two hand guns. But these aren't just any two hand guns. These guns are made from legos. As soon as everyone sees them they start backing up scared to death.

The big guy I was fighting starts crying and begging for his life.
We start making our way for the door when the big guy attacks me again and I shoot him in the chest. As you can imagine, lego gun means lego bullets. The gun shoots a little four-dimpled square piece and hits him square in the chest. It doesn't really even penetrate and it's sitting barely lodged in his skin. He cries out in pain and then falls to the ground.

And that's where the dream ends.

It looks like I don't have the heart to kill someone by stabbing them with a knife or shooting them with a real gun. But lego guns are no problem.

American Idol: "Feel Good, Inc."

2008-09-18T22:04:00.008-07:00

There I was sitting on a barstool on the American Idol stage. The lights were flashing with the cheesy American Idol jingle repeating itself. I looked out into the dimmed crowd of waving fans and posters. They had my name plastered on posters that said I LUV BURGER! "This is weird," I thought, "I don't even like American Idol." Then Ryan Seacrest stepped on stage, shook my hand and said, "Comin' up after this commercial break is John Burger with his rendition of 'Feel Good Inc.' by the Gorillaz."

I looked down at the judges (Simon, Paula and the other guy who always says "dawg"). Next I knew, the lights were shining on me and the music started. I sat completely frozen on a stool singing the "feel good" parts. When the rap part started, I jumped off the stool and started breaking into major hip hop dance. My voice was totally different and matched the rap guy perfectly:

Yo, we go ghost town,
This motown,
With your sound
You win the blink.
Gon'bite the dust
Can't fight with us
With yo sound
You kill the INC.
So don’t stop, get it, get it
Until you're cheddar header.
Watch the way I navigate
Hahahahahahaa!

Then it was back to the stool, sitting frozen.

Windmill, windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is ticking falling down...
Love forever Love is free
Lets turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land-
Is everybody in?

It was back and forth with voices and dancing/sitting until the end of the voice where I even laughed hysterically like the real singer.

The crowd went nuts and Simon even gave me a standing ovation. And that was the end...

Here's the song - Caution: It's weird.

Time for a Comeback!

2008-09-18T22:04:00.007-07:00

It's been a long, long, long time since my last post. Over a year actually :( But the time has come to start posting my crazy dreams again. Mostly this inspiration comes from my wife who recently became an avid blogger herself. She attached a link to my dream blog on her site and people keep asking me, "When are you going to add some new dreams?" Well, I have a few stock piled up over the last year and your request shall be granted.

Keep on dreaming!

21 Jump Street (Part 1)

2008-09-18T22:04:00.006-07:00

(As a young looking police officer, I'm assigned to go undercover as a student at a local Jr. High.)

Maybe some of you remember the old show called 21 Jump Street, starring Johnny Depp. It's about a group of 20ish year old police officers who go back to high school as undercover cops to help cleanup the schools. This is how my dream kind of started so I decided it would be a fitting title. And now with the dream...

I'm a 25 year old police officer living at the top of an enormous hill in Concord, California. At the bottom of the hill lies my new undercover assignment, Jefferson Jr. High. I've been assigned to infiltrate the school as a student and try to uncover a huge drug operation plaguing the local schools.

Before leaving for my first day, I grabbed the sack lunch my wife prepared and kissed her and my daughter goodbye. I told my wife about my new assignemnt and she just laughed. "There's no way you're going to pass off as a 14 yr. old," she said. Be that as it may, I had to still try. I walked down the hill and within minutes arrived at the school. It looked more like an old victorian home, with giant white pillars and a pale blue coat of paint. As I walked inside the building I noticed that everything seemed vaguely familiar. It looked exactly like the inside of Hogwarts School of Magic from Harry Potter.

I made my way by a giant moving staircase and noticed a small sandwich shop at the bottom. My stomach started growling and I realized I had forgotten to eat breakfast. I asked for the daily club special and watched as a greasy, potbellied, scruffy-looking man started preparing it in front of me. Everything looked fine until he used and ice cream spooper to add a giant slab of corned beef. I asked the man ,"What the heck is that? I thought I ordered a club sandwhich." "You did," he replied, somewhat annoyed. "Our club sandwiches always come with corned beef. If you want it without corned beef it will cost you an extra dollar." I didn't want to pay an extra buck for a smaller sandwich so decided I pay the man and eat before classes started.

As I tried to find my first class, my Dad (who happens to be a teacher in real life) walked up to me and said," follow me Son. You're in my science class for first period." Knowing this situation could possibly destroy my cover, I covertly slipped away from my dad and walked down a side hallway. The hallway opened up to a giant common area with hundreds of people walking in every direction.

Just ahead, in the middle of all the commotion, I noticed a bearded man sitting on a park bench. He was calmly reading a newspaper and eating an apple. "That's David," I thought to myself. David was a neighbor of mine and an acquaintance at church. I knew he was a school teacher, but it never occured to me that he taught at Jefferson. I walked up and asked, "How's it going David?" "Fine," he replied. "I'm taking an extended vacation so I don't have to teach for a few weeks." "Really," I wondered out loud. "So what are you still doing here?" David stopped for a moment as if lost deep in thought. "I don't know,!" he exclaimed. "Why am I here? I think I'm going to take off. See you later John.""Whew," I thought to myself. That gives me a few weeks to work without having to worry about David blowing my cover as well.

To be continued...

21 Jump Street (Part 2)

2008-09-18T22:04:00.005-07:00

(As part of my undercover mission, I decide to join the Jr. High Basketball team.)

Maybe some of you remember the old show called 21 Jump Street, starring Johnny Depp. It's about a group of 20ish year old police officers who go back to high school as undercover cops to help cleanup the schools. This is how my dream kind of started so I decided it would be a fitting title. And now with patr 2 of this dream...

As school progresses, I slowly start to make friends with some of the students and learn a little bit more about the illegal drug flows in the schools. As I'm walking down the hallway I notice a sign on the wall for basketball tryouts. "Hmmm..." I thought. "Maybe I should tryout for the team. I made the team when I went through Jr. High the first time. This should be a peice of cake."

The next thing I know, I'm at a Jr. High basketball sitting on the bench with another kid. The game just barely started and we were down 4-3. For some reason the coach didn't want to play me and this other kid, and he kept ignoring us. We were by far the best players on the team, but he didn't seem to care. Finally I stood up and left. "This is dumb," I thought. "Here we are, a 25 year old undercover cop and a 6 ft. 4in. Jr. High student sitting on the bench."

I realized I needed a change of clothes for after the game so I got in my car and started driving home. So here I am, an undercover cop posing as a 13 yr. old Jr. High student, driving home in my car with a thick 5 o'clock shadow.

I finally reached home, grabbed my cothes and started driving back. Out of nowhere a freak snow storm dumped a couple feet of snow and my car started fish tailing everywhere. The drive back to the school game took forever and I kept thinking, "I've got to hurry or I'm going to miss the rest of the game." But when I entered the gym and looked up at the scoreboard, nothing had changed. The score was still 4-3 and we were in the first quarter. The coach saw me walking back and yelled," Where have you been Burger? We need you in there! I'm down to three guys left on the floor."

I yell back, somewhat annoyed, "What for? You don't have a clue what your're doing. You're best two players have been sitting on the bench the whole time and you wait until 3 of your players get injured to decide to put us in!"

The coach begrudgingly apologized and the 6ft. 4in. kid and myself took the floor. I looked up into the stands and saw my family taking up a couple rows of seats. My wife, daughter, brothers, sisters and parents were all cheering for me. The rest of the game was kind of a blur, but this kid and I proceeded to score 50 points each as we demolished the other team. Everyone cheered for us and streamers flew from the rafters when time ran out and we won the game. I looked back up at my cheering family and the dream ended.

How to Cut a Wookie's Hair

2008-09-18T22:04:00.004-07:00

(I'm in a barbershop getting a haircut. When I look up in the mirror I look like Chewbacca mixed with a little teen wolf.)

As I'm walking through a strip mall I pass by an old school barbershop and decide to get my haircut. The lady at the front desk takes me to a chair and says, "you're barber will be with you shortly." After about an hour of waiting I fall asleep in the chair listening to some Big Band Swing tunes of the 40's.

I don't know how long I was asleep, but when I woke up I looked like Chewbacca mixed with a little teen wolf. Everyone had left theBarber shop and I was all by myself. So I took the electric trimmers and went to work. (Which is funny because I usually cut my own hair anyways.) I started at the top and cut my hair like the early Beatles with a part down the middle. Then I went to work on my face and shaved my upper lip and chin, leaving some sweet gigantic chops.

But there was a problem. I still had hair on my face surrounding my eyes. It went from my cheekbones to my forehead and it looked like I was wearing a large hairy mask. I tried cutting it with the electric trimmers but they stopped working. Not knowing what to do I quitely laughed at myself and walked outside. I looked like a superhero with my hairy mask and I decided call myself the Wookie Man. The End.

Sandlot Meets Swamp Thing

2008-09-18T22:04:00.003-07:00

(Instead of hitting a home run into the backyard of James Earl Jones, I hit a home run into a giant swamp of snapping turtles, alligators, and 2 friendly Anacondas.)

I don't remember much from last night's series of dreams. So here are the short/vague details.

I was up to bat in a small baseball field like theSandlot. The pitch came and I smacked a home run over the deep left field fence. The next thing I knew we were hoping over the fence and landed in a massive grassy swampland. Everyone started to get jumpy and talked about crocodiles and snakes hiding everywhere.

We spread out looking for the baseball, but we kept finding snapping turtles instead. People became increasingly scared and started running away. Then two giant anacondas popped out of the water poised to attack. People were freaking out and running in every direction. I looked up at the anacondas right in front of me and stared.

Then they started to smile and began wrestling with each other. I realized they were just playing and I joined in the mix. One of the anacondas lifted me on their back and gave me rides around the swampland all afternoon. Night began to fall and I watched as the beautiful sunset fell over the grassy fields of the swamp.

NBA Allstar

2008-09-18T22:04:00.002-07:00

(In this dream I tryout for three NBA teams and make it onto all of them at the same time, only to be cut loose after a disappointing first game.)

I was excited and nervous at the same time. There was no way I had a shot at making it into the NBA, but on dare from my friends I decided to tryout anyway. I was scheduled for three different tryouts with three different teams over the next two weeks. First it was the Utah Jazz, then the San Antonio Spurs, and finally the Seattle Supersonics.

I worked my tail off during practices running line drills and sinking shots. I kept thinking there was now way I was going to make it, but when it came time for the final cut I had made the team. In fact, I made all three teams.

I continued to play for all three teams throughout the pre-season averaging 20 points per game with 12 rebounds and 13 assists. It was amazing and I kept thinking, "This is easier than it looks."

Then came the first regular season game. In my first two games, one with the Sonics and the other with the Spurs, I choked big time. I air balled 5 shots, missed free-throws, layups, and had opposing players dunk over me time after time. It was "U-G-L-Y" ugly.

After seeing my poor performance with the other teams, the Jazz cut my gameplay down to 12 minutes, but luckily I was able to score 15 points and redeem myself.

The next day at practice with the Spurs, an assistant trainer walked up to me and handed me a notice and a check for $120. He said, "Sorry Burger, but you've been let go." I went to practice with the Sonics the next day and worked my tail off. After running line drills to finish the workout, the Sonics trainer came up to me and handed me a notice and check for $120. He also told me I was let go from the team. I wasn't too sad that I got released from the team, but it was really annoying that they waited until after I had practiced all day and just finished line drills to tell me.

Mildly dejected I went practice with the Jazz the next day. Coach Sloan had us take a knee and asked me to stand up. He started praising me on my performance last game and said I worked like a dog to help us win. Then he opened his hand and held it out for all to see. Inside was a tiny mustard seed resting on his palm. Coach told me to take the mustard seed. As I moved to grab it he quickly closed his hand and pull it back towards him, laughing as he did so. He egged me on to try again, and this time I snatched it out of his hand right away.

"Danggit," Coach Sloan said. "You weren't supposed to grab it so quickly." Looking a little annoyed that I had ruined his fun, Coach Sloan told me I could stay on the team. And that was all I remember from this strange, strange dream.

Dark Militia

2008-09-18T22:04:00.001-07:00

(With the help of Kitt from Nightrider, an old high school buddy and I defend a world from an evil military group.)

Once upon a night, in a dream far far away, I was sitting in a room attached to my brother and sister-in-laws home. My wife and I lived in an adjoining 1 bedroom apartment, but out of no where a new bedroom was attached to the home as well.

The new room was dark and musty with 70's furniture and carpet everywhere. I asked my brother-in-law, Jeff, where the room came from. He said it's always been there and wondered what I was talking about. Then he stood up and told us it was time for his annual yard sale. So I helped him carry out the massive 1970's yellowish/gold pleather couches, lamps, and brown curtains to the front lawn. Soon people started coming from everywhere for the yard sale. They kept buying the ugly yellow couches, but as they did another uglier couch would take it's place on the lawn. It was a never ending viscious cycle.

I needed a break from the crowd so I said goodbye to my wife and 2 year old daughter and told them I was going for a walk. I got about 100 yards down the street when I saw the sweetest looking black sports car parked just ahead. As I took a closer look, a little red line on the front grill start flashing side to side and I realized it was Kittfrom Nightrider.

All of the sudden the driver's side door opened and Kitt said, "Get in John. We don't have much time." So I hoped in the car, took the wheel and sped off. Everything became gray and blurry like I was passing out. The next thing I knew we were parked inside an exotic imported car show room. We were surrounded by Porsche's,Lamborghini's, Ferrari's, BMW's and a beautiful row of Aston Martins.

Kitt opened the car door for me and I stepped out to meet a large Italian man that looked like Luigi from Mario Brothers. He said, "Welcome to Octovio's fine grade imports. How may I help you sir?" I asked where I was and how I got here. He didn't have time to respond due to a sudden explosion near the front entrance. Luigi shouted, "Get out of here! The Dark militia is coming."

Soon a group of misfits entered, walking backwards, firing automatic weapons back out through the entrance. "It's the rebels," said Luigi. "They've been fighting the Dark militia for years. You see the Dark Militia repels down from their helicopters over the city and take anything they want. If you try to fight back they arrest or shoot you."

The rebels approached us ducking for cover and I caught my first glimpse of Dark militia as they entered the show room. They were dressed in black army fatigues with black ski masks and goggles. They armed to the hilt and firing like mad. But the Rebels were putting up a good fight and it seemed like they were shooting ducks at a carnival. The Dark Militia men started moving side to side and would fall over with a metal sounding "CLANG" as they were hit. Then they would pop back up and keep moving side to side.

From across the room Kitt peeled out to get to me. He pulled up shielding me from the whizzing bullets and told me to get in. I quickly took the wheel and drove off through the showroom entrance as militia men dodged out of the way. Soon they were firing at Kitt, but to no avail since he's plated with bullet proof armor.

As we pulled out onto the street I was amazed at the cityscape. There were ginormous skyscrapers and freeways as far as the eye could see. But above these giants of steel and concrete were hundreds, no thousands, of large helicopters painted red and white. They almost looked National Guard helicopters you see saving people over the ocean.

As I looked closer I saw tiny black figures repelling down long cords from the helicopters. Thousands of militia men were landing in the city and taking objects back up the helicopters. I thought to myself, "What kind of a crazy place is this and what am I doing here?"

As if he could read my mind, Kitt replied, "John, you're here to save this world and break the rule of the Dark Militia." I immediately started wondering how we were going to pull this off. Then out of nowhere an old High School buddy of mine, named Neil, appeared in the passenger seat. "What are you doing here Neil," I asked. He calmly replied "I'm your wingman buddy. Plus the the Dark Militia is after me too so I thought we could partner up."

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-- Machine gun fire suddenly opened up on us and Kitt took over the wheel. I looked over my houlder to see bright flashing lights and a convoy of 18 wheelers, black police cars, and bullet bikes chasing after us. Kitt weaved in and out of cars taking sharp turns at 100+ mph. I looked up to the sky and saw helicopters flying towards us in strategic patterns. Soon 6 or 7 spotlights were shining on us from above. Then came the rocket fire and short range missles. Kitt did the best he could to avoid enemy fire, but a missle landed 100 ft. in front of us creating a impassible crater. We were surrounded with no where to go.

Neil shouted, "I can't take this anymore!" and jumped out of the car and started running with his hands in the air. I yelled for him to get back in, but it was too late. The next thing I knew he was face first on the ground with cartoon arrows sticking out of his back. I felt horrible, but didn't have time to mourn his loss. I had to get of here, and fast.

I pushed a series of buttons on the computer dashboard, it's like I knew what I was doing, and airplane wings shot out Kitt's side. I heard a loud rumble from behind and we took off flying through the sky. Kitt did a couple of barrel rolls to avoid the helicopters and their missles.

We landed quietly in a massive parking tower adjoined to an even larger building. It was the Dark Militia headquarters. Kitt turned on a cloking device and we became invisible from the outside. I slowly creeped out my door, as a militia officer walked past, and snuck up behind him. to perform Spock's Vulcan grip. As I lightly touched his nexk he passed out in my arms.

I quickly dragged the officer behind Kitt and started to swap clothes. As I removed his mask I was shocked to find the face of Arnold Schwarzzengar from the "Terminator." Then I realized the militia men were robots receiving orders from the command center and I had plan to stop them once and for all.

I removed the CPU from the Terminator robot man and threw him into Kitt's trunk. I asked Kitt to burn a CD with a special computer virus and give me an update on the number of robots and humans in the building. "John," Kitt replied, "There are 10,361 militiamen in the building and 200 humans. All of the humans are on the 25th floor and I detect a large power spike coming from that area." "That must be where they keep their super computer that controls the militiamen," I said. "Keep radio contact and help me get to the 25th floor. I'll take care of the rest."

With Kitt feeding me directions, I made it to the 25th floor while avoiding guards and checkpoints. As I entered the main lab I was floored by the massive computers and screens lining the walls. I found an empty computer and loaded the CD. Just then a scientist walked up to me and asked what I was doing. I performed another Vulcan grip and swapped clothes with the scientist. The virus had been uploaded and it was time to go.

As I walked out the door I saw my friend walk by dressed as a scientist as well. "Neil," I whispered. "What are you doing alive?" He did a double take and said, "John is that you?" "Yes," I replied. Then he proceeded to tell me that the arrows were really tranquilizers and the militia took him to a prison cell for questioning. The prison was located on floors 50-60 and from there it was easy for him to escape. I explained about the virus, the robots and how Kitt was parked outside in the tower.

We calmly walked to the elevator and another man stepped in with us. It was the leader of the milita, The General, and he was no robot. He was a massive man with a clenched jaw and muscular figure. He wore the same outfit as the militia, but instead of a black mask he wore a black military hat. As the elevator crept down, he started telling us about two rebels with a black flying car they encountered earlier that day. One had been caught but the other one was still on the loose. We replied, "I'm sure you and your men will capture them sir." He answered confidentally, "Yes we will. They can't hide from us and it's only a matter of time before we have them both."

With that, the elevator opened and we parted ways. As we approached Kitt, we tried not to laugh at the General. Then everything slowly faded out and the dream ended.

Turkey Man

2008-09-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

(A dream about a kid secret agent and his trusty hero, Turkey Man.)

Once upon a time, in a dream far far away, I was a 10 year old boy living a new housing development. Only one long road existed in this housing development with hundreds of new homes being constructed. Our house was the only one completed on this never-ending stretch of road and for some reason it looked like it was 50+ years old with faded red brick, a huge green lawn and lots of tall skinny trees.

My parents told me they were going bowling for their weekly date night. I was sad to miss out on the fun and put up a little fit, but little did they know I had other plans. I had been recruited as a top secret spy for the agency and I would be receiving a new mission later that night. They hired the usual babysitter, who also happened to be a fellow agent, and left for the evening.

With my parents gone, the fellow agent/babysitter known as "Missy," went to my dads office to work on some other project and left me to my new mission. I connected my video transponder and spoke with General Karn who quickly told me that a hit had been put out on my head by a mob boss. Intelligence showed that the notorious Delangy brothers had been hired for the hit and were last seen in my neighborhood.

All of the sudden the power went out and I lost contact. I heard someone trying to break in through the backdoor, so I ran to my bedroom and used my flashlight bat signal to call for Batman.

Soon a small figure flew through my upstairs window and landed gracefully on my bed. He was only 4 ft. tall, wearing a beige colored spandex jumpsuit with a hoodie, orange boots, a red feathered cape, black eye- mask like Zorro, and a red wattle hanging from his neck. Printed across his chest was the letter "T" in big bold letters.

Then the figure spoke to me in a Mexican accent sounding exactly like Cheech Marin from Cheech and Chong. He said, "Hey I'm Turkey Man. Sorry, but Batman couldn't make it so he sent me instead. So wuz up man?"

I told him I had the Delangy brothers after me and he said, "no problem man, I'll take care of it." He handed me a small black microfiche and said we had to get out of here and get to my parents. All of the sudden the Delangey brothers; big, fat, and greasy looking, busted through my bedroom door with guns in hand. Turkey man kicked them in the face and flew me out my bedroom window.

Soon we were running through the wood frameworks of house construction sights. The Delangy Brothers were on our tail and Turkey Man kept telling me to "Hurry up man!" in his Cheech Marin voice. I started twisting and turning through small openings and did some back flips and jumps off wood frames to get away. Soon we lost the Delangy brothers and Turkey Man and I started talking about our last mission in Cancun.

We kept getting closer and closer to the end of the road where the bowling alley and a local church building laid. Then I heard a gunshot go off and a bullet whizzed by my head. Turkey Man said with his sweet accent, "I've had just about enough this man," and sprung into action. I turned around and saw him flying with his wattle waving in the wind. He picked up the Delangy brothers, flew them high up in the air, and then dropped them just to scare the pants off them, literally. They were falling through the sky in only their boxer shorts when Turkey man rushed down to catch them as they were about to smash into a concrete foundation. He sat them against a new wood post and tied them up back-to-back with cable wiring.

We heard police cars coming and we took off, since no one could know my secret identity. I made it the bowling alley, surprised my parents, and they said I could bowl one game before bedtime. I stuffed the microfiche Turkey Man gave me into one of the bowling ball finger holes and rolled a perfect strike. When the ball came back through the ball returner the microfiche was gone and the dream ended.